Thursday, February 25, 2016

Confession and a Book I Read

Just checking in, trying to discipline myself to write some thoughts. Why do I put off things I ultimately enjoy because the getting started part is hard? I guess it's just being human. JUST START. Here we go, metaphoric pen to metaphorical paper!

Ok so the confession part first, because it ties into the book reading: Lately something has been annoying me. (I know, this is so out of character for me!!! Is this really a confession or a trick to complain and have you read it?! It's both) Non fiction books aren't my first pick. They aren't my jam, as they say. Sure I love a good biography by a comedian or athlete I like.  (Bossypants anyone???)  Here's the thing (the confession part) : I GET ANNOYED by every christian lady on Instagram showing they only read non fiction books by christian bloggers. WHY does this annoy me? Oh, so many judgmental reasons of course! Allow me to rant for a minute or two:)

So, I guess because I love fiction so much it annoys me when people "don't read". I understand if reading isn't your passion, you don't enjoy it, and it doesn't align with your sense of "accomplishing" something. That's totally fine and I get that. Because other people enjoy running 26 miles and I don't understand THAT. A lot of people are "doers" as the yelling guy from Home Depot commercials would say and if they don't have something physical to show for their time, they feel it's been wasted. So a lot of these doers when they do read, it's always a non-fiction "self help" or christian lady blogger book (which depending on what it is, can be very similar NOT that theres anything wrong with either of the two genres--I have read both).

There is definitely wisdom in reading about someone else's perspective and life challenges. But I do hate fads. Especially in Christian ways of thinking. And it's always revolutionary at the time. And everyone's freaking out. By how so and so reinvented the wheel. I don't even like fads in non christian ways of thinking. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU KONMARI METHOD!!!!) Basically I guess you read with a grain of salt and take away some key points that DO resonate with you. Or tuck away nuggets for the future. Or totally disregard it because it's the worst (aka the book that says you don't have to diet or exercise to lose weight but be "mindful". I'M SICK OF THE WORD MINDFUL!!!)

Also, when it comes to fiction; I often feel like the writer lets on way more about their ideologies and life than they know. I like learning lessons through fiction more than non fiction many times because  of that very fact. When you're writing in your own voice you're more self aware but you  may miss the point because it's really hard to see yourself and your whole "thing". It's like Ferris Bueller looking at the painting with the tiny dots. I guess to tie it all in with why it annoys me about Instagram ladies is like because of blogs (my love hate relationship with blogs strikes again!) it's like what are they writing that we haven't actually read before ??? Why do blogs equal book deal? Should I just accept that is the way things are now? Why do I act like I'm in my 70's and want to go back to type writers and Ernest Hemingway and scotch and being mean to women?  I don't, for the record-but yeah I'm crotchety at the very least).

Ok anywho--with all the instagram and "oh my goodness I LOVE HER"'s going around it  often seems like a culture club, the ol christianity culture/popularity contest that swears it's not a culture but is totally it's own microcasm. The competition. The who can be the most gritty, the most having had been/are a sinner, the most redeemed, the most good at all the things even though proclaiming they aren't good at all the things, tee hee. Honestly I feel like they can be more damaging than good sometimes.  I get grouchy and it seems pharisaical and that's just mean of me because I really haven't read all the books enough to know if that's true. So I guess that makes me the pharisee grump in this story rather than hardworking authors.  All that to say-- I READ A NON FICTION BOOK. AND REALLY LIKED IT. AND LEARNED A LOT. AND THE AUTHOR WASN'T HUMBLEBRAGGY TRYING TO BE THE NEXT "IT' GIRL IN ANYWAY !!!

I'll segue now!

So a friend actually lent me the book, and I DO trust her opinion on books to the max. She said it wasn't life changing but good. And the topic directly related to something I was telling her I was struggling with so she was very kind to think of it. Something I've come to cringe about women's Bible study type things is that I feel that it's all so incredibly softball if you will. Seriously every women's Bible study I've went to has been about being a godly/biblical woman. WHICH IS GOOD to learn about, of course! I don't want to sound like I'm scoffing the Bible or anything. But basically we would always end up talking about modesty and how often you cook or clean the house. SIGH. EYE ROLL.  UGHHH. PERFORMANCE. PERFORMANCE. PERFORMANCE!!!

The book I read is called "You're Already Amazing, Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be"-by Holley Gerth.

Ok, so the title is a little softball BUT the subject matter was really good for anyone who has struggled with the "performance treadmill" of Christian life. Basically the point of the book is to emphasize that we are not intended to do it all and be it all to everyone. We all have strengths that make us different than another and it's ok and GOOD to not "be like her", aka the girl in your church or Instagram who is "doing it all". I took notes and I'm excited to share more of what I hope I can remember to incorporate into my life. It felt like it all rang true with struggles I've had in the past with self comparison. I'll save the more in-depth for another post, because yes this one has gotten out of hand and super long. I'm excited to use my strengths for a larger purpose! And to now go read some more fiction.


  1. Let's get off the PERFORMANCE TREADMILL and become more Mary than Martha!!!

  2. My thoughts:
    Yes. Yes to all of it.
    As a fellow fiction-only kind of girl, I applaud you for making it through a non-fiction and enjoying it!
    You should be in charge of the Bible studies so you can choose the heavier, thinkier stuff. Take it from me. ;)

    1. hahahahahahahaha ! Yes, I knew you would understand about the non fiction thing. I mean seriously...c'mon people! FICTION!!! Oh man; I would love to choose the Bible study material. Then resent everyone for not wanting to join it. OH WAIT. I did this in college once already and my partner and I could NOT keep the girls in check or have attendance happen. It was quite the learning experience, hehe.