Thursday, March 26, 2015

Dear Whoever You Are

The results are in and it looks like it's still not time for you to join our lives yet. I am trying not to get discouraged, I know you will join us when the time is just right.

But guess what? I know we will have so much fun together, I know you will be awesome--so I'm having a hard time with all the waiting.

There are empty rooms in my heart and home.  There are empty seats at the table.  There are empty beds and empty shelves. We can't wait to see what kind of things you will like to fill up your shelves with.  We are waiting for you, not just anyone, but you.

It's funny--we have never met and you don't even exist--but I miss you.  My arms ache with emptiness  and I'm WAITING for you.

I can't wait to play The Beatles for you. I can't wait to take you to a baseball game. I can't wait to see you experience your first Autumn. I can't wait to hear what kind of things you like and dislike. I can't wait to walk to the library with you. I can't wait to watch The Sound of Music with you--and watch you experience it for the first time (whether you like it or not). I can't wait to hold you when you're sad and laugh with you when you're glad. I can't wait to watch as the world takes shape before your eyes. I can't wait to help mold you into the person you were meant to be, and help you figure out God's purpose of your life. I can't wait to hear the funny things you will say. I can't wait to help you conquer fears and celebrate your victories no matter how small. I can't wait to watch put together the puzzle pieces of what our world is and hear what you think about it.

I can't wait to splash through puddles with you and feel the freedom of spring after a too long winter.

I can't wait for you to discover the magic of the Christmas decoration box.

I can't wait for you to chase fireflies and cover your ears during fireworks. I can't wait for adventures together!

There are so many things for us to do and see, together. I don't want to waste another minute.

I'm writing this to you from a time machine. And not from the past, but the future. The future where you are here and it's like I've known you always---and think back to now and how weird it is that YOU'RE NOT HERE YET. That there was a time when I did not know you.

We know you'll get here when you do. And it will be right and nothing else would have been. But you are wanted. We will have such fun.  Please come, whoever you are--get here as soon as you can.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Tirades on Boughten Brooms and Must Be Nices

"It belittles us to think of our daily tasks as small things, and if we continue to do so, it will in time make us small." 
-Laura Ingalls Wilder 

I love Laura Ingalls so very much and have since I was a little girl! Pioneering was totally my jam. Bonnets! Cornbread! Aprons! One room school houses! In second grade my teacher was reading to us out loud from "Little House in the Big Woods" and Laura and Mary were so excited about getting a "boughten broom". I remember a classmate making fun of it and saying some comment about how it was lame to get all worked up about a "boughten broom". To which I promptly FLIPPED my lid and went on a tirade about how they didn't have things and lived miles from the nearest town so a "boughten broom" was most CERTAINLY an exciting occasion! They made a ball out of a pig intestine for heavens sake!!!  All that to say, this post is getting off track and I was easily fired up with rants locked and loaded even as a kid. In attempts to bring this story around to the POINT I want to make with this post, is that I always loved how Laura's books showcased the tiny ins-and-outs of daily life, and how important they were to the big picture of life. 

I have always struggled with the concept that there are people out there who want you to vouch for your time and who judge you if you aren't as "busy" as they think you should be. That the tasks you accomplish aren't as concrete as their tasks so hence you must have a footloose and fancy free life and should feel guilty about it! Haha. Obviously this is a sore subject for me. I mostly get this in regards to not working a 9-5 job and being involved in every church activity ever. (Because what do you do with free time if you don't have kids?!?) I love the above quote from my girl Laura. She totally got that simply washing the dishes and cleaning the laundry (which granted was 1,000 x's harder in her day so way more of a feat, haha) were IMPORTANT and USEFUL and TIME WELL SPENT. Everyone has their version of "dishes" and "laundry" and somedays just accomplishing SOME tasks is an uphill battle. And for me if I added on 1,000 more things to my list simply because "I technically could" would be a nightmare.  On paper it's easy to spell out your day and proclaim to the world naively that you will accomplish x,y,z with vigor and a flourish with time and energy to spare at the end of the day. When will I ever accept that I'll probably only accomplish x and maybe part of y and almost never Z? It's taken some lessons in humility to be able to just let people make their comments about my life. "Summers off? MUST BE NICE." Said with side eye and glaring and TIME OFF SHAMING. Anyone who says this I would love to place into my classroom just for five minutes and see if they wouldn't also enjoy "a summer off". Hehe.  I do really want to DELETE the phrase "must be nice" from the english language. No one ever has ever said that phrase sans condescension. (Sans Condescension? BAND NAME!Or new font!I guess as a font it would be "Condescension Sans". Well now I'm going have to create that font. That way anytime you typed something in it the font itself would be giving you the business and judging you!)

Anyways-- let's all keep our "must be nices" and "boughten broom" comments to ourselves or I might have to email you in Condescension Sans. And then demand you explain to me what you do with your time. 
AND THEN PROCEED TO ARGUE WTIH YOU ABOUT IT. Sigh. Yes I'm feeling sensitive can you tell? Am I typing this in Obvious Sans?