Friday, November 13, 2015

The Ways of a Hermit and the Ways of Time

When time flies at the speed of light, I remind myself "YOU'VE GOT TO WRITE IT DOWN TO SLOW IT DOWN" (my new motto). It processes my memories and thoughts like nothing else can. Basically August through October were one big blur. I think because the weather was so warm and sunny it seemed like a continuation of summer. And since I'm subbing this year rather than running my own classroom (aka universe) the days are running together. Consider this me slamming on the brakes.

Do you guys remember that episode of the King of Queens where Carrie quits her job to get well mentally and physically? To get lots of projects and self care done? She has all these grandiose plans of doing doing doing but then she totally shuts down and basically watches tv and lounges all day and can't bring herself to accomplish one errand? Do you see where this is going??? Haha. The struggle really IS real!

 The last few days I've done better at making myself do stuff. I think my problem is I am waiting for that kick of adrenaline and that joie de vivre to automatically be there, and if it's not I'm like "OH WELL, GUESS I'LL DO THE BARE MINIMUM TODAY". BUT, I'm reminding myself: adrenaline usually comes to me when I'm very busy. The joie de vivre comes when you feel like you've really earned that 15 minutes of coffee sipping while thinking about your week and what you've accomplished. TOO MUCH DOWN TIME results in a very sluggish me. My lifestyle has slowed basically to a grinding halt and I'm really trying to figure out how to be very useful with my talents in this moment in time where this is my reality. (Could the first and third paragraph contradict themselves more?! Going so fast. Going so slow. Ay yi yi).

I keep reminding myself to fake it till I make it. Not every #girlboss (and I say that with all the irony and sarcasm I can muster) on the internet wakes up feeling like fighting dragons everyday. You just DO IT.  I mean, I do the normal stuff like cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, church, family stuff. (seriously, why are there 12 loads of dishes everyday for 1-2 people!!!!) It's like the GOAL STUFF I need to motivate myself on. House projects. Working out. WRITING FOR HEAVENS SAKES. I've been avoiding the basement for two weeks because I knew the computer was waiting for me, wanting me to share my thoughts and feelings and ideas with it. Needing me too. And I've gone incommunicado.

 I'm becoming TOO COMFORTABLE in my hermit ways and I've gotta fight the Carrie Heffernan tendencies. I really don't want to have to like, write a schedule for myself everyday. UGH. But seriously I might have to start doing that to avoid wasting so much time doing RANDOM STUFF.

All of this talk of productivity has really got me hankering for a nap...

stay tuned of more updates on what we've been up to lately. (Spoiler alert: we really did see a unicorn!)

No comments:

Post a Comment