Monday, March 31, 2014

2014 Mantra

life's so full of tests of faith, loss, sadness, and struggle. They always say it gets darkest before the dawn. I have had many dark periods, now it's mostly numbness with glimmers of hope here and there. If feels so much better than darkness! It's always the most numb and ambiguous before the dawn? No matter, what I have been living by a mantra this year. It's not one I just saw and thought "Oh, that's cute, I'll type it up in cutesy letters and post it over my computer!" I read it once and it keeps coming up in my life, forcing me to pull my head out of the sand. I knew I wasn't interested in yearly goals come January 1st this year. Why bother making them when it put's so much pressure on an already self critical mind? I guess my New Year's resolution kind of found me and rammed itself down my throat!

The phrase that I has been forcing me out of my comfort zone is this:

I get so bogged down with everything that can go wrong and all my short comings that it keeps me from putting myself out there and trying.  I just keep repeating to myself. That you can't really accomplish or do ANYTHING without messing up, being wrong, getting reprimanded, judged, or criticized. And it's all good because it means you're doing something. And seriously, you need to do something and stop sitting around watching everyone else accomplish goals and grab up all the life force:)

So I guess a gallon of paint and a roller is a tangible manifestation of said mantra. I finally just manned up and painted a dang wall. I didn't worry about if I would love it a year from now, or if it would go with any future purchases or decorating choices. I didn't worry that I got some on the carpet, my clothes, or the baseboard. I had fun. Teddy Westside helped and we worked well together and were proud of our work. He didn't make fun of me too much when I was afraid to go to the top step of the step ladder and I didn't laugh too much when he almost fell off it multiple times.

Now I'm just singing "Rose's Turn" and taking the world by storm, haha.

Here are a few inspiration pics:

This photo is taken from

I absolutely love this color. It's "Dragonfly" by Benjamin Moore. I have loved it for several years but couldn't pull the trigger or land on a specific spot to put it.

This one is from

They call it a "Reading Room" and ever since I laid eyes on it I was like MUST. HAVE. THAT.

So for my wall I'm thinking putting some Billy Bookcases without backs to mimic a built in style? Similar to this:

This is from YoungHouseLove. I love basically everything they do and have admired this builtin for quite sometime. Look at that beautiful Dragonfly in the background!

For the time being it might be my desk area shoved up against it (desk is white) with gold accents. I'm excited to finally take matters into my own hands and stop worrying! It's my house dangit and I can make it look awesome if I want.

I will post pictures of my actual wall soon. I need to take something that isn't iPhone confound it, Raja!

1 comment:

  1. LOVE that color. I am really drawn to deep, moody colors like that, but our house is so small that I'm saving them for "someday" in a different house. Or not. Maybe I'll change my mind and use them here. Anyway, I appreciate your struggle and good job just doing something. Keep at it. And post pics. :)