Well, this is just a simple song,
To say what you done.
I told you 'bout all those fears,
And away they did run.
You sure must be strong,
And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun.
When you go it alone.
Don't go thinking you gotta be tough,
And bleed like a stone.
Could be there's nothing else in our lives so critical,
As this little home.
It's ok right now to live small and quiet, and not get too angsty about the big picture. To ponder and handle the tasks at hand and prepare for big things while enjoying this time. I feel like ever since we came home from the Center I've been on a big old mental vacation and I'm not planning on stopping that vibe anytime soon. You read the last post where I was feeling grouchy and uninspired. I know that happens in life so it makes me even more grateful for the times when I feel motivated and content. I'm working hard to help repair my mind. I know that Vaginismus was mainly a larger umbrella for all these other doubts and fears to hide under and now is a time for eradication of all those thought processes. It was one part of the body but it represented so many other things. So yes, I know that healing all one thing doesn't immediately "cure" your mind and body of everything BUT it's a whole new season of free. I know we are kind of jumping right from getting cured to now the next stage--FAMILY--something we hope to have soon but who knows. That's a whole new journey in and of itself and who knows if it will be easy, rocky, terrible, or point us somewhere new. I guess time will tell.
(Speaking of the Center, I will be posting more about our time this summer for anyone out there who might be struggling with Vaginismus and needs some encouragement that help is out there) !
Here is a small snapshot of life lately in pictures--
"Could be there's nothing else in our lives so critical, as this little home"
Ted had a heroic feat: he built Karl the couch for me one night AFTER working hours of overtime. It was a long night (for him) but I love love love love love this couch and the way our family room is coming together. I call downstairs "The House that Hazel Built" as we wouldn't have been able to finish the basement without my late grandparents, Hazel and Youles. My grandma loved being home and having her loved ones in her home and I think she would be proud it this. I have a framed picture of them which needs to be produced asap. The space still has a long way to go but is finally feeling like a real space instead of the basement where the computer and treadmill and litter boxes are.
We christened the space by having friends over and the girls watched Dirty Dancing and ate tons of food. And there was plenty of space for all. I thank you Ted a million and twelve times because I'm pretty terrible at building stuff even if it's IKEA. But I did manage to hoist the whole dang chaise in the van all by myself. Another superhuman feat!
My bird buddy and our town mascot.
He chased me to the car because he was wondering where I was hiding the food. Hah!
Now that the time has changed and I'm not driving to work in pitch darkness this is what I saw over my street and neighborhood the other day. I just pulled over and stared and smiled and laughed because there were people just jumping in their cars and not even noticing (or not caring) and I was all "DOUBLE RAINBOW, OMG!'
A Ted in the wild: this fall could not have been more gorgeous. I have been loving every minute and frolicking as much as possible. I'm still not over last winter. Don't say polar vortex to me or else you will receive a punch, which I will deliver personally or by Fed-Ex.
We celebrated our 7TH WEDDING anniversary. I can't believe that it's been that long. What?!
Trip to the Lexington Horse Park was a fun day--I want to do a separate post on it as I took one million horse photos. Also there are some of Ted doing dressage and jumping and it's the funniest thing ever.
My mid-century thrift store chair-$12! Also Maggie Pants likes it.
I hope you are all living well and simply this fall--can't wait to post more!!!! (she said, knowing full well it would probably be another month but hoping that isn't the case).