Uninspired and Grouchy About It

It's a rainy October late afternoon. I'm feeling grouchy and uninspired and I DON'T TAKE KINDLY to feeling uninspired. Along the vein of Walter Mitty and Anne Shirley one of my main interests is day dreaming. I'm really good at it and it takes up a lot of my free time and it helps me focus my energies on my next project, dreams, and schemes. I love to get lost in something and have things to look forward to, things to be excited about.  Things that make the world I am growing more and more accustomed to feel new.

 I feel like some people find themselves in new beginnings all the time and without even wanting them.  I always have to claw my way into them. Or fight, or scrap, to bring about change. I guess that's just how it works. You want change, it avoids you like the plague. You hate change and it beats down your door and drags you away into the wild unknown.

Lately I've been feeling blah. Nothing is speaking to me and it's like writer's block for life in general. I hate it! I need to get involved in a project. I need to get my creative juices going and create something until it is fun again. I feel like the Home Depot commercial guy needs to come lecture me about "doing" ect. (Seriously though Home Depot Guy some of us are TIRED on the weekends and don't feel like grouting tile or other things we don't know how to do).

I think my brain is simply done with this era of my life. It's ready for something and I don't know what it is yet. I think the comfort zone is suffocating me. I think it's the seven year itch (not from my marriage) but from life in general.


With that being said I realize life is simply sometimes a grind.

Hard work.

Little pay off.

No mountaintop moments.

Going through the motions.

Monotonous.

Drudgery.

Mundane.

Dull.


My prayer will be that I can be bold, be open, and brave enough to start something new. To launch out of my comfort zone before it drags me down into 20 years from now.

My prayer will be that my heart can be renewed as I keep running the race, and that my feet can be directed to the right path for this time of my life.

My prayer will be to find contentment in times of discontent and ambiguity.

My prayer will be that I can be moved to action when the time is right.


_________________________________________________________________________________

Perhaps a detox is in order. A detox from pinterest, instagram, interwebbing.  A fast from overloading my brain with input that makes it feel nothing.  BLURGH. I feel like an angsty teen and not in a sexy vampire way!

Hopefully there will be more sass and wit next week and not so much Debbie Downer. 

It's weird but I miss me when I'm not feeling sassy and happy. Are  you there Carrie? It's me, Margaret, your blasé counterpart . Which apparently you call Margaret. Which is weird, but not in any way related to your buddy Margaret, just a riff on the book title. 

Oh Debbie. I love you so much.

Over and out.